Celebrity Squad

Wouldn't it just be awesome to have an entourage of celebrities to follow you around and cater to your every whim, even if it's just for a day? I think so! :D

Of course, I can never pass up a challenge, so when my fellow blogging friend Jason (who's blog is pretty hilarious, by the way! :D) basically said that no one could pick a better team of celebrities to be in someone's entourage, that automatically meant that I had to prove that I could pick better people! :P LOL

So here's who I would choose to be in my posse of popular personalities:

1) The one, the only, the freakin' AMAZING Adam Young of Owl City!


Not only does this dude have an awesome sense of style, he is arguably the only guy on planet earth who can write songs about Fireflies, an Alligator Sky, Saltwater Rooms, and Rainbow Veins and make it sound absolutely legit. Seriously, I have no idea what the man is talking about half the time, but does it even matter? Heck no! Because he's Adam Young and he just ROCKS like that! With him in my entourage, we would write songs together on the piano about every random we can think of. Purple clouds, backwards waterfalls, hyper dragonflies, name it, we'll write about it! Of course, spontaneously bursting into song when everyone else least expects it will be routine. And we would be AWESOME.

2) What better celebrity to have for protection/ increased cool factor than the English fantastic-ness who is errbody's cuppa tea, the King of British Swag that IS Daniel Craig:


What better guy to have hang around me than the first and only James Bond to not give a rat's behind about whether or not his freakin' martini is shaken or stirred?! This man does not PLAY.
With Dan in my posse, I'll never have to worry about security because I KNOW he will have my back with his insane fighting skills, super fast cars, and awesome gadgets. I mean for real. Daniel Craig. The man who can kill a bad guy with any item in the room--a shoelace, a canvas bag, your mom's cross-stitched pillow--name it! And of course, I would just have him read the phone book so I could hear his drop dead gorgeous English accent. Yes, I just said that.

3) Last, but certainly not least, the final member of my Celebrity Squad would be none other than the man, G-Wash himself.



Now before you start trying to sass me saying "Hey he's dead, he doesn't count"--let the records show that the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines "celebrity" as "a famous or celebrated person." George is famous. George is still celebrated. BAM!
I mean, how much more epic can you get? The Founding Father of America, the First U.S. President, the man who's face is engraved upon currency! OH YEAH :D

So there's my crew! LOL :D Epicness incarnate.

The Moral of the Story: Jason Elliot, I just proved it. ;D


To see where the shenanigans all began, click here:http://0excuses.blogspot.com/2011/06/and-word-is-entourage.html :)

Pass the scissors

So who's excited about cutting her hair off this Thursday? This girl right here!

Seriously, when I think about the freedom, and the long-awaited end to "Ahhh-what-am-I-gonna-do-with-my-hair-wahh-wahh-wahhh!!" :( " type of days, my heart literally leaps for joy. *leap*

You see, I have almost always had long hair, with only two exceptions. One being in April when I did my "Rihanna bob," and the other being when I was an infant. Insert Aaaawwww baby picture of me here :p


So as one can imagine, this is going to be a really big step for me. It'll be an adjustment, for myself and for those who know me. But I am ready for it! So ready, in fact, that even if something were to happen to prevent me from going to my appointment on Thursday, I would straight-up take scissors to my hair myself.

Am I excited? Definitely. :) Worried? Mehh... not exactly. But, I will admit, the question that keeps bouncing around in my head is, "What if, after all this, I don't even like the cut?" And the one answer that keeps satisfactorily responding to that question is "Yo dude. It's JUST hair."

And I suppose that's true. Literally for almost my entire life, I have been known for having long hair. (I remember being SO mad as a little girl whenever adults would ask my parents in my presence if my hair was a weave. Actually, I still get pretty mad thinking about it.... ) So naturally, there's this part of me that fears that when I cut it off, I'll inadvertently lose part of my identity in the process. But how much more silly could I possibly be? What matters is what's in my head, not on it. Plus, I find my real identity in my relationship with Jesus, and I'm pretty sure He'll still like me even if my hair is short. :)

So just 4 more days till my "Big Chop," as it's called. And I am so excited. :)

Moral of the Story: The only way for growth to take place is if there is change. And that counts for hair, too. ;)

You know you were born in the 20th century if...

1. You grew up wearing windbreaker pants
2. As a kid during the summer you didn't sit in front of a Wii for 12 hours and complain of boredom. You played outside and drank these bad boys:

Oh yeah. Barrel drink.
3. You couldn't run with your portable CD player because it'd skip every 2 seconds
4. Nobody had heard of or cared about Miley, Selena, or Demi. It was all about Kenan, Kel, and Amanda
5. Your GameBoy Advance owned everyone else's GameBoy Color
6. You remember when Skip-its were actually the best toys ever


7. Hot Wheels were leading the way
8. You could never actually finish a Baby Bottle Pop
9. You knew Shia LaBeouf before he was "hot"
10. The first MP3 player you saw was the size of a remote

Moral of the Story: I was born in the 90s and I'm proud of it :)

It's not easy being green

Well... last night I went to go see The Green Lantern with some of my friends, and let me tell you, it was some movie.

Now I am just all about superheroes (Spiderman and I are like besties, just ask around), but to be honest, I always have preferred MARVEL comics over DC comics. So since The Green Lantern is a DC character, mentally I had already penalized our little green friend about 37 cool points before I even bought my ticket.

So without re-narrating the entire storyline--which would take at least 5 hours because the movie was longer than the amplified version of Gone with the Wind--here were the pros and cons of film:

Pros:
1. Ryan Reynolds is absurdly attractive. Insert gratuitous heartthrob picture here:
Translation: Only a man that looks this good could make that tacky green supersuit and silly mask look passable. *Shudder*

2. Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, The Green Lantern himself, brings lighthearted humor to Hal's character with his offhanded wit and classic charm. For example, in the film, a "bad guy-esque" character threatens Hal, warning him to "Watch his back," to which Hal retorts "Um, that's impossible." <--sass. I like it.
Reynolds was able to skillfully pull off the typical "cocky-yet-likeable" hero, as well as show a sensitive and vulnerable side reminiscent of his role in The Proposal, a feat that, if anything, was worthy of an Oscar when considering how painfully uninspiring the overall story was. In short, he kept the movie together. Cool points for Ryan. <3

3. Impressive graphics. But in the 21st century, that's to be expected.

CONS:

1. Basically everything else.
The graphics were cool, yeah, but the story took SO LONG to unfold, not to mention that half the film was in the dark. (You'd think in a planet guarded by lantern bearers they could at least afford to light the place.) And the villains were so hideously ugly, I thought I was going to throw up my gummy bears in my mouth every time I saw them. Sorry, but it's true. And the resolution was, in my opinion, pretty lame. Good defeats evil, for sure, but what example are the heroes setting when it takes them 2 hours an 25 minutes to finally get unified? :/

So, if you're a Ryan Reynolds fan, go see it. He looks great in the superhero costume. But if you're looking for some quality superhero action, I recommend you keep your $30 in your pocket and save it for when The Avengers comes out in 2012. (oh yeah!)

Moral of the Story: Apparently, it really isn't easy being green.

FALE

My name is Natasha Oladokun, and I am best friends with Awkward.

I feel like I should really just save the world the trouble and wear a giant name tag that says "Prone to awkward moments, socialize at your own peril." Here are just a few of the typical, recurring FALE At Life moments that always seem to happen to me... please tell me I am not alone and that at least one of these has happened to you, too.

#1. The Head-Nod
You see someone you kinda sorta know, and in a split second you have to make a decision based on the following thoughts simultaneously wizzing through your brain: Do I act like I don't know them? Should I smile? Should I say "Hey, what's up?" How fast are they walking? Do they look like they have time to talk? What's their name, even? Oh dangit they're making eye contact!
And instead of just looking down at your shoes, you find yourself just half-smiling really awkwardly <---(Key word) and giving them one of those shy little head-nods that look like you have a twitch in your neck.

#2. Inappropriate Responses
Someone tells you "Happy Birthday!" and you instinctively respond "Thanks, you too!" FALE.

#3. Texting the wrong thing to the wrong person. Is it really my fault that I have like 6 Emily's and 9 Sarah's in my contacts list?!

#4. Laughing at something that really didn't need to be laughed at.
Me: "Your nickname as a kid was 'Bunnyboo?' HAHAHAHA!"
Friend: " 'Bunnyboo' was what my grandma used to call me. Before she died."
*awkward silence*

#5. Not knowing what to say to a stranger in an elevator.
Me: "Um, going up?"
Stranger: "We're on the ground floor, aren't we?"

#6. Introducing someone and forgetting their name.
(Actually, with some skill, this can be avoided. All you have to do is introduce the person who's name you do remember, and let them take over from there. Crisis averted.)

#7. Introducing someone and calling them by the wrong name.
(There is no way to avert this crisis. Sorry.)

#8. Walking past a friend and saying Hi to them, but they don't hear you.
Dilemma: You can either be ghetto and and start yelling, "Hey I WISH you would walk away from me like you don't know me! Yeah you! Turn aroun-- I said turn around, fool-- Mhmm yes you, ok now I believe you were about to say hello to me?" OR You can just look down at your shoes and let the rest of the world think you have no friends.

#9. Fist-bumps that never actually materialize.
And you're left. Standing there. With your fist outstretched. Not cool.

#10. Unison Greetings
You and the person you're talking to don't allow each other to answer each other's questions and end up going through the whole formal greeting completely in unison: "Hey! How are you? I'm fine, thanks..."*awkward laugh*

#11. The "Do I hug you or not?" Stance
You stretch out your arms and halfway think, "Wait, is this ok? Do I even know them like that?" So you pull back, but the other person has reached out to hug you too... and by the end of it all, the air between you both has gotten more love than you have.

#12. That 6 second pause when you and your acquaintance have exhausted all appropriate topics during a phone conversation and neither of you know what to say next.
Yep. You know the one.

#13. When you snort while laughing and try to cover it up by coughing
Never seems to work for me.

#14. When you're in a public bathroom and the person in the stall next to you is divulging their entire life's story on their cell phone
Mmmmhmm.


#15. When you trip over your own feet.
Apparently saying "Hey! Who put that there?" when there is nothing even on the ground doesn't work as a distraction.


*Sigh.*

Moral of the Story: Actually, I'm not actually sure if there even is one...

I Am Seriously About Ready to Just Cut This Hair Off

I've had it. I'm done. Through. Finished. I am not doing this ANYMORE. I have come to the point of no return, and I definitely am not going back!

"Done with what?" you ask? Well I'm happy to tell you. I'm going to cut my hair. Short.

Since December of last year, I have been going through a process known as "going natural." To cut a long story short <---[see what I did there? Cut? Short? ;) hehe], what this means is that for almost my entire life, I permed my hair so that it was straight like this:

And that was all fine and great, because my hair has always been long and SUPER voluminous so that it could look like this if I wanted it to:

But let's face it...not exactly a hot look. So why, why would I put all those awful straightening chemicals (also known as "relaxer") in my very own God-given hair? *Sigh.* Because I wanted the "convenience" of having straight hair all the time. But let me tell you, that jank is terrible.
And here's why.

Number 1: It smells just stank nasty when you're applying it. I've never smelled a burning ferret, but I imagine that that's what chemical relaxer smells like.

Number 2: It burns your scalp if you leave it on for more than 5 minutes. For those of you who have never experienced a chemical burn ON YO' HEAD (stop and think on these things), let me break this down for you. Imagine, I dunno, 5,000,000 red ants let loose on your scalp. And they decide to have lunch. On you. Literally.

Number 3: Once you chemically straighten your hair, you can't apply heat to it with a curling iron, flat iron, anything. I mean, you can, but if you do it long enough your hair starts to fall out. I'm not even playing.

Number 4: You have to go through this entire painful process every 4-6 weeks. Oh heck-to-the- no.

So, I decided that I was going to follow in the footsteps of the many other daring women before me who have stopped using hair relaxer and have gone back to their beautiful naturally curly hair. Which is great, except for one little tiny detail. I now have to "transition." And believe me when I tell you that "transitioning" is just a euphemism for "the most annoying 8-18 months of any human being's entire life."

You see, the one thing that relaxer never bargained for is this. It forgot that human hair ACTUALLY FREAKIN' GROWS BACK. After several months of not relaxing, my curly hair at my roots is fighting with the straight ends so that I have two completely different hair textures on my head at the same time! And with my bob haircut, that means that "the back of my head is ridiculous," with short curly hair in the back and straight hair in the front. When I blow dry it, it looks like this:


I refuse to look like an anime cartoon for the rest of my young adult life.

And so, toward the end of July, I plan on cutting off the straightened ends, and begin sportin' my naturally curly (but pretty short) hair, starting completely from scratch! It should look something like this:



But until then...

I Am Seriously About Ready to Just Cut This Hair Off.

Get to steppin'

"C'mon, it's not that bad!" <---- Interesting how these words usually precede something not not that bad. And when my mom convinced me to take her step aerobics class with her, I knew from the start that this was going to be a hot mess--for me, at least.

First of all, let me make something clear--I love my mom, and any person who knows her loves her too. And I'd do basically anything for her... including running the risk of looking like I never actually learned to even stand erect, let alone do STEP AEROBICS.

Poor Life Choice #1: Assuming that I was going to go there and show the "older people" how it's done.

You see, I'm a dancer. Been dancing since I was a year old (home videos to prove it), and I've done everything from ballet, to modern, to hip-hop, to jazz, to tap, to contemporary. Plus, I'm a UVA student, meaning that for 9 months out of the year, I live in the only place on earth where you actually do walk uphill both ways. So what's a little low-intensity step aerobics class? I'll probably get bored. Psh. I got this, I thought to myself. WRONG.

So I got to the classroom at the YMCA, I looked around, and the average age of the women in the class was at least 55. (My age brought the average down...) So, just being plain ignorant, I'm thinking, Ok, it can't be that bad if women in their 60s can do this. (PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: "Senior citizens" are senior for a reason. Just remember that.) By this point I noticed that the AC was on FULL BLAST. I promise you, it was like 38 degrees in there--icicles growing on the ceiling, an igloo chillin' in the corner; I could almost swear I saw one of Santa's elves run past me at one point. How intense could this possibly get that you need to turn this place into a polar ice cap? And before I knew it, our instructor, Marvin, walked to the front of the class.

Poor Life Choice #2: Assuming that Marvin wasn't going to give me the work out of the summer.

Allow me to describe Marvin. He's the sweetest looking man you ever saw, in his 50s at least, about 6 ft., jolly, the kind of man you'd see in a red suit granting children their wishes around Christmastime. I looked at my mom, my eyes inquiring, "Who's that?" Mom smiled and mouthed "That's our teacher."

Poor Life Choice #3: Forgetting that aerobics classrooms have mirrors, so everyone can see what you do--and say.

"HUH?!" I said, I'm sure loud enough for other people to hear. (I cringe thinking about it even now.) Mom just smiled sweetly and faced the front of the room, ready to go.

Marvin kicked on the music, and away we went. Starting off nice and slow, it really wasn't that bad. "Up! And down! Up! And down! Toe touch! And down! Toe touch! And down!" Marvin called out instructions just like a pro right out of a fitness VHS tape. I looked around, and while everyone else was smiling and having fun, all I could think was, DO NOT TRIP ON THE STEP. IF YOU TRIP, YOU WILL DIE. Concentrating with all my might, I was steppin' up and down, toe touchin' like it was my job. I finally started to relax a little. Then all of a sudden, after about 10 minutes, I felt it. What is this?! Thirst?! Perspiration?! I am a DANCER! I can't just...just... start sweating over a little warm up!

Poor Life Choice #4: Cutting back on the amount of water I drank so that I wouldn't look like I was feeling anything.

Marvin mercifully gave us a water break, and of course I only took about two sips of water. (In Marvin's defense, he was sure to give little affirmations along the way like "Great job!" or "If you feel uncomfortable, be sure to stop." But I couldn't stop! No! I had to act like I actually knew what I was doing!) The next thing I knew, I was back on the step, "Up! Down! Up! Down! And kick! And down! Knee up! And down!" And L-step! Back! And L-step!" Of course, being the dancing machine that I am, I was kickin' when I should have been steppin', forgetting which way was right and left, and of course, tripping all over the step.

Would you believe that it took me 15 full minutes to figure out that an L-step is in the shape of an L?

Poor Life Choice #5: See Poor Life Choice #2.

I stayed behind to stretch. And let the record show that after about 20 minutes of crunches, leg raises, and dumbbell lifting, muscles that I did not even know I have felt like they were going to spontaneously combust into open flame.

Class ended. Mom was smiling, radiant, looking beautiful as always.

"So how did you like it?" she asked. Somehow, I couldn't tell her that my muscles were screaming, "DON'T YOU EVER, EVER...DO THAT AGAIN." I couldn't tell her that I couldn't feel my abs anymore. I couldn't tell her that I felt like a new-born giraffe trying to walk. I couldn't tell her that after all that, all I wanted to do was go home and eat 3 slices of pizza. Because believe it or not, something inside of me wanted to try it again.

Moral of the Story: "Older people" can take you out. And not to dinner.

It's about time :)

YAY!!! After one year of procrastinating (well, not exactly procrastinating… I prefer to think of it as “weighing all my options before making my decision”), I have finally started my very own blog. If excitement could be measured on a scale of 1-10, I’d say I’m at about a 34 or so.

Well. I suppose it would be best for me to start off by introducing myself! I love lists (I’m positive there will be many more to come), so here is one just for you!

1. I love Jesus. He’s my best friend for life. :)
2. My name is Natasha
3. I’m 19
4. I think that 19 is a seriously awkward age
   
5. I am a student at the one and only University of Virginia and I absolutely LOVE it. Go Hoos!
6. I’m a nerd for the following sub-reasons:
1. I typed out this first entry on a Word Document so that I could perfect it before I posted it
2. I like Star Wars, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Sesame Street more than a 19 year old college student should
3. I have the entire dialogue of The Lion King, The Sound of Music, and Toy Story completely memorized
7. Playing the piano is one of my favorite things to do. Like ever.
8. I am an alto—except when I have a cold. Then I can sing bass. :)
9. I am terrible at sports
10. I am basically in love with literature, especially the classics
11. I still think that wearing overalls is cool
12. Writing is one of my passions
13. I laugh REALLY loud. I can’t help it—it just comes out!
14. I am very pleased to be writing this blog for your enjoyment. And mine too, of course :)

So. Let the blogging times commence. :)