Superman, get your life together

Sometimes you just have days where angry Facebook statuses are completely insufficient, and only a ranting blog post will do. 


This is one of those days. 


WARNING: THERE IS MORE SUPERHERO NERDING HERE


So I've spent most of the evening dividing my attention between two activities:
1) Coloring in the Avengers activities book that I got at Wal*mart.
2) Watching the 1980 Superman II.


My angry ranting has to do with activity #2.


Now, I have to admit, as corny as Superman II is, I love that movie. Yes, the graphics are terrible, the acting is worse (the music is the only saving grace--long live John Williams)--but I still like it for some bizarre reason. 

HOWEVER, the whole toxic Lois-Clark love...thing is disgraceful. Disgusting. I'm talking throw up in your mouth-stab me with a rake-death by paper cuts torture. 


I'm not going to go off about how Margot Kidder's acting is forced and annoying. I'm not even going to go off about how I wish that someone could re-edit the movie so that Lois Lane isn't even in the story. I will, however, go off about why their relationship is psychologically unhealthy. 


REASONS WHY CLARK KENT SHOULD DROP LOIS LANE LIKE A BAD HABIT (in the 80s version) 
1. It's Lois Lane
2. She clearly does not care about Clark. She treats him with zero respect or consideration.
3. She's manipulative 
4. She puts him in awkward situations (e.g. throwing herself off a bridge so that Clark could prove he's superman) 
5. It's Lois Lane
6. She can't see that he's Superman just because he's wearing a freakin pair of glasses
7. She's so absorbed in obsessing over her career that she can't see that he's obviously in love with her
8. It's Lois Lane 


My only hope of changing my opinion of Lois is if she's awesome in the new Superman coming out in a year. And by the looks of this new man of steel, I'm already inclined to be a bit more kindly disposed to anything or anyone surrounding him.

Well hello there. Yes. I see you.  

The Avengers. 'Nuff said.

My dear readers. I have a confession to make. *deep breath*

I may or may not be 

SLIGHTLY OBSESSED WITH THE AVENGERS. 

There! It's out. I AM A NERD AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT. No seriously. I've seen it in theaters 3 times in the last 2 weeks, and I'm already starting to go through withdrawals. I can feel my eye twitching as I type. 

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A SEVERELY AND UNAPOLOGETICALLY BIASED FILM REVIEW. JUST SO YOU KNOW. 

Now, this...enthusiasm (we'll call it that, for now) may not be new to a number of you. If you've seen or had any sort of contact with me at any point in the last 2 weeks, chances are you've seen me A) find a way to bring The Avengers into the conversation, B) find a way to bring some sort of spiritual parallel from the movie into our conversation C) gush about the epicness of the manliness overdose that is The Avengers or D) talk for 20 minutes straight about how deliriously attractive I find Tom Hiddleston to be. (I'll go into detail about that later...)

So, maybe you haven't seen Avengers yet. If you haven't, please, I beg you, get off your laptop, desktop, smartphone, etc., go to the nearest theater to you, buy a ticket, sit yourself down, and watch it. You will thank me. If you have seen it, then you'll know what I'm talking about. 

First of all, on the most basic level, this is a great movie. I seriously don't think there is anything more the makers could have done to make it any better. The graphics, the scriptwriting, the musical score, the phenomenal casting, the perfect balance of drama and humor--freaking Ironman, Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, and my namesake Natasha the Black Widow duking it out and saving the world from the throes of evil --does it really get much better than that in Hollywood?!? Maybe it does get better. But I haven't seen it done yet--and I watch a lot of movies. :D Plus, there's a great balance of fair screen time for each of the main characters--each one gets moments to shine, but without eclipsing the others. 

Let's take it one character at a time, shall we? I'll start with Loki, who is basically the most likable villain I've ever seen in my life. 

I mean come on, how can you hate a face like that? Ok, yes, he's most definitely crazy--his head is more or less "a bag full of cats" as Bruce Banner so aptly put it. His villainous rhinoceros hat is also pretty hilarious, too. But you've got to hand it to him--he is elegant, unnervingly charming, and even laughs along with the jokes the characters make about him. He's the perfect concoction of a guy who takes himself far too seriously, yet has an ironic sense of humor. Granted--I am probably projecting a lot of my favorable views of Tom Hiddleston onto Loki's character. Oh well. Anyone who announces his presence by saying "I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose" deserves a round of applause in my book. 

Insert gratuitous picture of the actual Tom Hiddleston, whose voice and beautiful accent alone reduce me to a puddle: 

Keeping it in the family, let's talk about Thor:

I know. He's a beautiful work of art. He's corny as all get-out, but when it's time to put the literal and proverbial hammer down, Thor/ Chris Hemsworth is your man. He's quite the paradox--he brings a lot of gravity and epic quality to the film, but contrasted against the likes of Iron Man, he ends up becoming a source of comic relief, too. Best lines ever? 

Thor: Don't speak of Loki that way--he's my brother.

Black Widow: He killed 80 people in 2 days.

Thor: He's adopted.

Now, was it me, or did Hulk almost steal the show? :D Who would have guessed that this:

could have thrown down like this: 

One minute he's a mild-mannered, quiet scientist who just wants to get his stuff done undisturbed, the next he's smashing the living snot out of New York, aliens--and of course, Loki. Um, can we say BEST SCENE EVER? I'll bet Loki will think twice before he dares to call himself a god in front of anyone, ever again. Winning points for the Smash Machine. 

Three words: Iron stinkin' Man. What happens when you take a millionaire playboy philanthropist  and throw him into the arms of destiny? You get this right here: 

You can count on him being his usual cocky, suave, sophisticated, hilarious self--except this time, he's learning to be a team player, too. And what a team player he is--beat-up Iron Man suit and all.

Then there's Captain America--the one who dares to stand for God, home, and country--even in a spangled supersuit.

He's a man's man--he defends the weak; he's serious-minded (he has an ever-so-slight tendency to get high strung, but whatever); he has awesome fighting skills, has ridiculous biceps, and can blast punching bags straight across a room. And he actually makes spandex work. 

Best lines ever?

Black Widow: Don't mess with these guys--they're basically gods.

Captain America: There's only one God, ma'am, and He sure doesn't dress like that. 

And it would be a cruel injustice to separate Hawkeye and the Black Widow--a dynamic duo if there ever was one: 

Sure, it takes them a while (and a few blows to the head with blunt objects) to get them back on the same page, but once they do--LOOK OUT Jatari! It's about to go down. 

Epic moments? 1) Natasha taking out 3 men--hands tied behind her back--with nothing but a chair. 2) Hawkeye shooting aliens behind him without even looking. Certified bosshood. 

What I loved most about The Avengers, though, is that it's about more than just a whole bunch of heroes being epic. It unabashedly hearkens back to older days of classic heroes who stand up for good and defend the weak. There's something nostalgic about the way it pulls at the heartstrings of the audience--something captivating about the way it praises honor, compassion, courage, and above all, sacrifice. What's beautiful about the film is not just what it teaches, but the way it teaches--by inspiring its audience to live life "burdened with glorious purpose," knowing that whether you have superpowers or not, you're someone's hero. An "old fashioned notion?" Maybe. But I think our day could use some old-fashioned inspiration. 

So, basically, this is an awesome film, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And when it comes out on DVD, I'm getting two copies, so that when I play the first one to death, I'll have a backup. 

this is why I am not an advice columnist

And now for one of my favorite games invented by none other than the awesomeness that is the Vlogbrothers --GOOGLE AUTOFILL

(the game that proves that people are as weird as we think they are) 

And the letter of the day is F for Finals! 

Is my f...

#1 ...finger broken? 

Did you hear any snapping noises that would make you think that this could somehow be a possibility? Would you hate me for life if I gave you a high-five right now? IS YOUR FINGER IN PAIN? If you answered yes to all of the above, then YES. PROBABLY. But since you somehow had the presence of mind to type this into google in the first place, I'm going to guess that, NO, it's not.

#2...flight on time?

Look at your ticket. Now look at the clock. Look back at your ticket again. Now look out the window. Does the flight arrival time on your ticket correspond to the time on the clock? If the answer is yes, and there's a plane whose flight number also corresponds with the plane number on your ticket, then yes. GET UP AND GET ON THE PLANE. If the answer to the first question is "no" because it's 3:00 and your plane doesn't come till 9:00, then you just need to sit yourself down and be patient.  If the answer to the first question is "no" because its 3:00 and your flight was supposed to come at 1:00, then it looks like you're walking to Reno, buddy.

#3...flash up to date?

What is this "flash" you speak of? Cameras flash. Flash is a superhero. Lightning flashes. I've even heard of these thingies called flash drives. You couldn't possibly be talking about Adobe Flash, because a) Nobody cares about that and b) google ran out of magic powers to know what kind of superhero lightning camera flash you were talking about. 

#4...face symmetrical?

Look in a mirror. Does your face look like this?: 

if the answer is no, then it's symmetrical enough.

#5...foot broken?

GOOGLE DOESN'T KNOW, OK???

#6 (what is my)...final grade after exam

I do believe the real question you're wanting to ask is, "If I failed, will I still pass this here class?"

#7...friend mad it me?

If they've yelled "I HATE YOUR FACE" at you anytime recently (and actually meant it), then they probably are....

#8...favorite show cancelled? 

if your favorite show is Kenan and Kel (woop woop), then I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, but....

#9...floor tile asbestos?

Dang if you have to ask, get that jank out of your house, man.

#10...facebook hacked?

If you have had a recurring string of facebook updates saying things like "I'm a happy unicorn" or "I believe that showers are superfluous" or "Inbox me for my social security number, cuties"... then yes. 

And I suggest you start looking for your best friend/housemate. 

Moral of the Story: Google, you have proven that your powers can only go so far. 

Singing in a sinking boat

PHEW! I have been surviving the fury of finals--praise Jesus for that! :D 


I've always had mixed feelings about exam week. On the one hand, I probably get less sleep during this time than...well... ever, but on the other hand, I somehow manage to get to spend more time with people than usual. Not a bad trade in my book. 


Of course, the logical thing to do when you have 60 trillion things to do is listen to music on YouTube, and guess what I remembered? A video of me and one of my friends, Christian, singing "Falling Slowly" in the Chi Alpha spring talent show a year ago (Woop woop!) Ironically, the words of  the song really seem to match how I feel right before I start praying furiously (that is not the right word, but I haven't thought of the one that's right yet...frantically? Fervently? One of those...) before studying for an exam/ writing a paper/ taking aforementioned exam. If Jesus and I had a conversation in song lyrics, it would be this:


ME: 
Take this sinking boat and point it home 
We've still got time (...????) 


Jesus: 
Raise your hopeful voice 
You have a choice 
You've made it now....

It's so great to hear those words: hope, and you've made it. And when I think back over how blindingly fast this semester has wizzed by, it seems like it was only 5 minutes ago that it was January, and I was up blogging at midnight the night before classes, because I was too excited to start class the next day and couldn't sleep. What a nerd. 

Wow. This semester has been a beautiful and joyous one. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1XtCgdUbsk

10 Things I Hate about The Facebook

It's been TWO MONTHS since I blogged last, and for this, I beg your forgiveness. Can I just say that life basically took over? Life basically took over. 

So, sparknotes of my life in the last 8 weeks:

1) Went home twice: spring break and Easter
2) Applied to the Area Program in Poetry Writing concentration 
3) Got in! (Praise Jesus!!!! <3) 
4) Went to class a lot
5) Read a lot of things... from A Christmas Carol to Sir Gawain and the Green Knight to Arabian Nights (which I hate).
6) Went through a a brief midlife crisis when I realized I'm half-way through college.
7) Quickly got over aforementioned crisis
8) Posted almost 150 funny pictures on The Facebook.

Which reminds me....

In quazi-penance for my lack of blogging, I am simply going to recopy a Note I wrote on Facebook 2 years ago. I'm amazed by how true this still is for me...

"Facebook. You either love it or hate it.  You see, there really is a thin line between love and hate--I know this because in the years that I've used this social networking tool, I have danced all over that line at one point or another. Of course, Facebook has many wonderful features that still manage to make me check it several times a day. Yes, I admit, I'm somewhat of an addict. (Whoa... somehow, seeing that last statement in print frightens me... I've really got to do something about this...) But no matter how fun and entertaining it is, there are a number of things about Facebook--and some of its users--that...well. Inspire blogs with titles like this. Let's explore some of these pet peeves of mine, shall we?

#1. THE PROFILE NAME: Facebook users' names are one of the first things you notice about them. So to everyone from the MySpace generation, please, use your real name... for my sake. I mean, how confusing is it when you're searching for one of your buddies on your friends list and after looking for him for about 10 minutes you finally see that he is no longer "James Walker"; he's changed his name to something ridiculous like "JJ Bustacap the oRiGiNaL gAnGsTa." This is not MySpace. So please use your real name. 

#2. THE PROFILE PICTURE: The profile pic is so important. It's purpose? To allow people to see the gorgeous faces God has given each of us.  So really... you don't need to be putting up pictures of cars and sunsets and flowers all willy nilly and whatnot. Just a picture of you will do nicely. Seriously, if someone's trying to add me as a friend, I want to at least see what they look like.

#3. THE INTERRUPTERS: We've all experienced this at one point or another. You're having a wonderful comment-conversation on a friend's wall, and everything is great until that one guy interrupts the beautiful flow of things with just a trifling, ignorant comment that has nothing to do with what you and your friend were talking about. Here, I'll illustrate:

You: Hi Friend! Had an awesome time with you at the beach yesterday!

Your Friend: Hey! Me too, it was great! I'm a little burned though, but you know. It was worth it!

You: Yeah, watch out for that sun! LOL Wasn't that awesome when we saw that turtle?! 

Your Friend: Oh gosh yeah! I was like dude for real?!

"That guy": Hey bro can you text me that peanut butter and jelly recipe?

#4. THE RELATIONSHIP POSERS: "Cindy Sue is in a relationship with Billy John." Ok, I can handle that and the comment chain of 87 comments that always manages to follow little updates like that. But what I cannot stand is the when Cindy Sue and Billy John feel the need to prove they really are "in a relationship" by putting up profile pictures of them making out. Yeah, we've all seen that picture. Unnecessary.

#5. THE SINGER-SONGWRITERS: This is dedicated to the ones who express their moods by quoting songs and lyrics... lyrics which most of us have never even heard anyway. Now, I'm not going to say I've never done this before--I have, and it's fun sometimes. But everyday, several times a day? A little bit much, don't you think? But what's worse is when you ask these Singer-songwriters, "Hey, I saw the song you put up the other night. I mean... it was kinda intense...are you okay?" Then they get all defensive and say things like, "No! It's no big deal I just felt like putting up a song! I mean is that okay with you or what?!" Sheesh. Sorry I asked. But you can bet that when you put up lyrics like the first line of "Bohemian Rhapsody," (Mama... i just killed a man...")-- I AM GOING TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS.

#6. THE RANDOM GUY WHO ADDS YOU FOR NO REASON: "Who the heck is Heimlech Inglethorpe...? Mutual friends: Zero." BLOCK.

#7. THE RANDOM GUY WHO KEEPS ADDING YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE IGNORED HIM FOUR TIMES: Block.

#8. ATTACK OF THE NOTIFICATIONS: This often happens when you do something innocent such as "Like" a friend's profile picture. And for the next 146 weeks you keep getting notifications from total strangers all saying basically the same thing: "Cute pic!" After a few months of that, it's enough to make you regret ever becoming friends with that person in the first place...

#9. REPLY-ALL EMAILS: I really, really, can't stand these. Your friend sends out an email to 103 of her friends saying simply, "Hey! Anyone want to hang out sometime?" And every 30 minutes for the next month you get random emails from total strangers who have all gone and hit the "Reply all" button. But you see, this is not like #8, the "Attack of the Notifications." No. It's much, much worse. Because even if you delete the original email, you will STILL continue to get emails from Bobby Joe and Ahmed Abdul and Cindy Chang and Britney Sanchez... none of which you know. Not. Cool.

#10. THE LATE NIGHT CHATTERS: It's 12:30 AM, you're exhausted, and you've just finished harvesting an unhealthy amount of crops from your Farmville account so that they don't die by tomorrow. You're ready to turn off the computer and get some sleep. And right as you're about to click the Logout button, you hear that little popping sound Facebook chat makes and you're faced with a decision that demands a split-second response. Option 1: Quickly log out and hope the other person thinks that you were offline all along. Option 2: Be rude and message the person saying, "Hey, I'm going to bed and you should, too. Good night." Option 3: Make small talk and restrict your responses to one and two-word answers such as "yeah," "lol," and "that's cool," and hope the person will get the hint. Option 4: Just roll with it and have the conversation. 

(Although I really can't bring myself to hate on the Late Night Chatters, though. Some of the funniest conversations I've had have happened after midnight.) 

There are a lot more things I could talk about, but I would need to write a book to list all of them.  Hmm... there's an idea. Natasha's Facebook-Book of  Pet Peeves. I like the sound of that... "

 

things I can't look cute eating

Earlier this week, I was on the bus on my way to class, nomming on a powdered jelly donut. And as I sat there trying to discretely finish it off, I realized how ridiculous I must look. I mean, what better way to say, "Hi guys! I'm a sophisticated adult!" than by looking like I had been attacked by a 5 pound bag of sugar, with raspberry jelly dribbling all over my face.


If you happened to be on the Outer Loop and saw me epicly losing to a circular piece of sugared bread...well. Don't tell anyone it was me. 

So I decided that I'd make a short list of things I can't look cute eating. Maybe you can eat some of these things and still manage to look awesome. If so, I am willing to take lessons from you.


FOODS I LOOK UNATTRACTIVE EATING
1. Powdered jelly donuts
2. Celery
3. Carrots
4. Ribs
5. Barbecue chicken 
6. Barbecued anything 
7. Spaghetti (Lady and the Tramp LIED, sorry) 
8. Huge spinach leaves
9. Club sandwiches 
10. Chicken noodle soup 
11. Chipotle burritos 
12. Cheetos 
13. Cupcakes
14. Sloppy joes
15. Watermelon
16. Popcorn
17. Powdered jelly donuts. I'm just reminding myself.  

Moral of the Story: I need to sharpen my cute skills.

love or like? or like love?

I have finally emerged from all my piles of books and homework and papers and all the  applications I've had to read, and I AM ALIVE!!!! WOOOHOOOO :D

It's been quite the eventful last couple of weeks; somewhere between writing poems (or at least trying to write poems), writing close reading papers, going on an AWESOME district-wide retreat with Chi Alpha (I will have to do a separate entry on that alone...talk about the most loving, encouraging, challenging spiritual kick in the face I've gotten in a while)--somehow all of the craziness has made the last two weeks roll into one looooong 336 hour day. But I can't complain; it's been pretty awesome. I mean in just 14 days, I have made at least 3 new friends, learned some sweet new Bible verses, created a Disney playlist on the iPod, and I only embarrassed myself in front of one of my favorite professors once. It may or may not have involved my almost/actually walking into a door. Yes, I know. I exude swag.

But, I digress--all this Valentinezy luvvy wuvvy in the air has gotten me thinking about, well, love. So yes, I'll admit, I did create a "Love" themed playlist (along with the Disney one), with all my favorite love songs on there. What can I say? I'm a realist and also a sap. 

Now: DISCLAIMER: I am not one of those depressing "Singles Awareness Day" people who use Valentine's Day as an excuse to complain about not having a love muffin or whatever. I choose to see Valentine's Day as an excuse to a) be even more huggy with people than usual, and b) eat objectionable amounts of chocolate. 

Therefore the opinions you are about to read are those of a rational, happy single young adult who, coincidentally, also just likes to eat obnoxious amounts of sweets this time of year.

The topic of love has been springing up all over the place for me these last few weeks. I'm taking a class called "Medieval Love" (all about how love is portrayed in Medieval prose and poetry), and besides being one of the best classes I've taken so far at UVA, it has really made me think about my own perception of love. Then yesterday, the message at church was all about what it means to love God out of a heart of obedience. If I really love God, then my life will be marked by obedience to Him. So simple, yet so hard, especially if you're as stubborn as I can be. 

The other issue I've been thinking about a lot lately is how much many people today--myself included!--just throw around the word love. And then BAM right when I needed to hear it again, that was exactly the issue that was brought up in church yesterday. (Spiritual kick in the face #2)."Ohmahgosh. I love your shoes." "I love Chipotle." "I love Pride and Prejudice." "I love you, Mom and Dad." "I love you...Jesus?"  

I mean, seriously?! How can I take the very word I use to describe how I'm supposed to feel about my Savior, my family, (a future spouse?) and use it to describe how I feel about shopping or fast food? Who cares how much I think I like Chipotle--something's wrong when I just use the word "love" indiscriminately like that.

Whatever happened to just liking things?

The Greeks had it so nice. They had at least three words for love (that I know of)--phileo, eros, and agape. Each one perfectly describing a level of affection appropriate for its object. And yet our alluring, complex, flawed English language reduces us to use "love" to describe our feelings toward the beautiful, divine, and sacred, with the same vocabulary we would use to describe the common and inconsequential. 

I really hope to break the habit of throwing my words around. I mean, I want them to mean something special when I say them. So this Valentine's Day, and well after that, I will do everything I can to save the word "love" for only that which is deserving of the word. 

Will you join me? I'll need all the help I can get.