Sunday, May 6, 2012

this is why I am not an advice columnist

And now for one of my favorite games invented by none other than the awesomeness that is the Vlogbrothers --GOOGLE AUTOFILL
(the game that proves that people are as weird as we think they are) 

And the letter of the day is F for Finals! 

Is my f...

#1 ...finger broken? 
Did you hear any snapping noises that would make you think that this could somehow be a possibility? Would you hate me for life if I gave you a high-five right now? IS YOUR FINGER IN PAIN? If you answered yes to all of the above, then YES. PROBABLY. But since you somehow had the presence of mind to type this into google in the first place, I'm going to guess that, NO, it's not.

#2...flight on time?
Look at your ticket. Now look at the clock. Look back at your ticket again. Now look out the window. Does the flight arrival time on your ticket correspond to the time on the clock? If the answer is yes, and there's a plane whose flight number also corresponds with the plane number on your ticket, then yes. GET UP AND GET ON THE PLANE. If the answer to the first question is "no" because it's 3:00 and your plane doesn't come till 9:00, then you just need to sit yourself down and be patient.  If the answer to the first question is "no" because its 3:00 and your flight was supposed to come at 1:00, then it looks like you're walking to Reno, buddy.

#3...flash up to date?
What is this "flash" you speak of? Cameras flash. Flash is a superhero. Lightning flashes. I've even heard of these thingies called flash drives. You couldn't possibly be talking about Adobe Flash, because a) Nobody cares about that and b) google ran out of magic powers to know what kind of superhero lightning camera flash you were talking about. 

#4...face symmetrical?
Look in a mirror. Does your face look like this?: 

if the answer is no, then it's symmetrical enough.

#5...foot broken?
GOOGLE DOESN'T KNOW, OK???

#6 (what is my)...final grade after exam
I do believe the real question you're wanting to ask is, "If I failed, will I still pass this here class?"

#7...friend mad it me?
If they've yelled "I HATE YOUR FACE" at you anytime recently (and actually meant it), then they probably are....

#8...favorite show cancelled? 
if your favorite show is Kenan and Kel (woop woop), then I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, but....

#9...floor tile asbestos?
Dang if you have to ask, get that jank out of your house, man.

#10...facebook hacked?
If you have had a recurring string of facebook updates saying things like "I'm a happy unicorn" or "I believe that showers are superfluous" or "Inbox me for my social security number, cuties"... then yes. 
And I suggest you start looking for your best friend/housemate. 


Moral of the Story: Google, you have proven that your powers can only go so far. 



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