add some sass to your 26 hour day

My lovely friend Jenna is an absolutely fabulous blogger. I'm pretty jealous, actually. Whenever I read her stuff, I literally have to cover my mouth with both hands and do the "wiggle-stomp-my-feet-silently-because-i'm-about-to-go-on-myself" dance in my chair to keep from guffawing out loud like a fool on laughing gas. 

I may or may not have been kicked out of public places for disturbing the peace while reading her writing.

In one of her recent posts, she created a list of all the things she would do in a 26 hour day. I've attached the list here for your convenience:

"Things I could do in a 26 hour day:
1. Finish hw (for once)
2. Learn a new musical instrument (guitar, harp, banjo, pretty much anything but a shofar)
3. Write more blog posts
4. Do laundry on a regular basis
5. Eat a meal that in no way involves food from Panera
6. Read something not assigned by a professor
7. Go bowling
8. Go on a date (this could, in theory, also be #7) (just a suggestion)
9. Start hiking again
10. Jam with musical friends. So many musical friends.
11. Create an internal arsenal of  puns that are ready for any occasion."

Granted, it's a nice-sounding list. But it's all wrong. 

Jenna Monell, you and I both know darn well that that is not what you would do in a 26 hour day. Here's a reality check for you, toots.

What Jenna would really do in a 26 hour day:

1. Procrastinate doing hw for 2 extra hours 
2. Learn how to play the shofar (for the sole purpose of blowing into it obnoxiously in the halls of Old Cabell as she runs to Hebrew class in the morning)
3. Get into situations too awkward to blog about 
4. Procrastinate doing laundry and instead make a fort out of her socks
5. I'll give her #5, it's probably true
6. Procrastinate reading that other thing
7. Forget that she was there to go bowling, and start a flash mob in front of the shoe check-out counter.
8. Go on a date... with George Clooney (I figured I should be at least a little bit nice.)
9. Go on a hike, and plant a flag on the top of the mountain that says "IT'S JUST WRONG, STUPID AND AWKWARD NOT TO USE THE OXFORD COMMA"
10. By "jam with musical friends," she really means pulling a Kanye West at a Justin Bieber concert. "Imma let you finish, JB, but Natasha Oladokun is the best blogger of all time!" :D (ok... maybe that one was a stretch. But I couldn't resist. :D) 
11. She already has an intense arsenal of puns at her disposal, so I have no idea what she's talking about there. 

The Moral of the Story:  I forgot to mention that I would totally be doing all those things right along with her.


See Jenna's blog of awesomeness here: http://irrationallyirked.blogspot.com/